Borrowed states

I pick up many feeling states from the media I consume. Some states feel familiar, like it's amplifying something already there. Others feel new. Many of these states are beautiful. They expose me to interesting parts of reality I wouldn't reach on my own. But some play my nervous system's strings until I find myself returning to them, recalling them, letting them linger longer than they should. Like the anime character whose quiet distance I romanticize until it starts flavoring my week. Or the song that makes longing feel noble when I actually want to move forward. I'm porous. Things land in me before I've decided whether they should be there. And the states that pull hardest often feel the most like insight. But they're not. The discipline is in examining whether they belong in the life I'm building, and letting them go when they don't. Some feeling states are not meant to be lived by, only appreciated.